“It's too big!”
Those words might make some people smirk, but trying to insert a large sex toy into your vagina can pose a real challenge.
If you find yourself too tight and struggling to accommodate your new dildo, what should you do?
The key to enjoying any sexual activity is being in the right mood. Feeling aroused helps you relax mentally and physically, making it easier to insert a large or very small dildo and actually enjoy the experience. Starting with smaller objects like a finger and focusing on clitoral stimulation can ease the way for larger toys, and using lubrication ensures smooth insertion.
You're Not Too Tight - Learning to Relax
First, let's debunk a common myth: you're probably not "too tight." The vagina naturally expands and stretches when aroused, allowing penetration by penises or sex toys. It's easy to underestimate the vagina's capacity to stretch, as seen during childbirth.
While conditions like Vaginismus can cause vaginal muscles to tense up and hinder penetration, most women can overcome tightness by simply becoming more aroused.
Is It Safe to Force a Dildo In?
With busy schedules, finding time for a lengthy masturbation session can be challenging. Can't you just push the dildo in?
Well, you could (and some women enjoy this), but it's generally not recommended. Forcing a dildo in when not sufficiently aroused can cause friction and pain, potentially leading to tears in the delicate vaginal tissue.
Choosing the right dildo can prevent discomfort. For instance, an inflatable dildo allows you to adjust the size until you're comfortable, making it suitable for training purposes. Large dildos are best left to those with experience seeking intense sensations; beginners may prefer smaller options. Additionally, consider the material: glass dildos offer smoothness and rigidity, while silicone dildos provide softness and flexibility.
There are various specialized options to explore, such as double penetration dildos or double-sided dildos for simultaneous vaginal and anal stimulation, or squirting dildos for a realistic ejaculation experience. However, the choice ultimately depends on personal preference. Using a dildo should be pleasurable, not painful, so if simpler options work for you, feel free to use them. Just remember to listen to your body and stop if anything feels uncomfortable.
Seven Helpful Tips for Using Your Dildo with Ease
Wondering how to relax and get in the mood for a satisfying dildo session? Here are some tips:
- Start small! Begin with a thinner or beginner dildo and gradually work your way up to larger sizes.
- Take your time. Unlike men, women typically need more time to get aroused. Set the mood with activities like a bubble bath, reading erotica, or watching a steamy movie.
- Use lubrication! It's essential for smooth and comfortable insertion. Apply plenty of lube to both the dildo and your vagina, especially for anal play.
- Find a comfortable position. Relaxation is easier when you're in a comfortable position that allows easy manipulation of the dildo.
- Start with other forms of stimulation. Use a vibrator or your fingers to arouse yourself before attempting dildo insertion.
- Tease before insertion. Stimulate your clitoris and the entrance of your vagina with the dildo before gently inserting it.
- Listen to your body. Pay attention to your body's signals to know when it's time to begin penetration.
- Vary depth and angles. You don't have to insert the entire length of the dildo at once. Experiment with different depths, angles, and pressures to discover what feels best.
Finding Your Best Position
Finding the right position can greatly enhance your dildo experience. While many start with the standard missionary position, other positions may be more comfortable and effective:
For beginners, doggy style with a slightly arched back is recommended. This position makes dildo manipulation easy and allows for targeted stimulation, such as the G-spot.
If you struggle with back-and-forth motions or lack rhythm, try riding your dildo in a cowgirl position. Holding it against a flat surface allows for effortless control.
Consider using a suction cup dildo, which can be attached to various surfaces, freeing your hands to focus solely on the sensations.
Choosing the Perfect Dildo
Deciding on the right dildo is a big topic, but here we'll focus on ensuring a good fit. If you're new to this, start with a small, thin dildo. A 3-inch length is a good starting point. Alternatively, pick one that resembles the size and shape of the penis you're familiar with. This keeps things natural as you get the hang of it.
If achieving orgasm or arousal is a challenge, consider a dildo with extra features for added pleasure. Vibrations, ridges, or curves can help stimulate the right spots more easily, making penetration smoother.
For those accustomed to larger dildos and seeking a challenge, opt for a thicker, longer one. Fantasy or monster dildos provide intense pleasure but may require extra effort for penetration. If large dildos aren't your thing, try a cervix glass wand for deeper stimulation.
Anal Training with Dildos
While we've focused on vaginal penetration, many people enjoy using dildos anally. However, just like with vaginal penetration, there are times when a dildo won't go in your butt!
Most of the advice for vaginal use applies here too, with extra emphasis on lubrication. But for anal penetration, focus more on gradually increasing the size of toys.
The anus is less elastic than the vagina and tightens between uses, so even experienced users should start with smaller toys and progress slowly.
Using circular motions during insertion can help relax the anal muscles, easing the transition to larger toys.
Never force a dildo into your anus. Unlike the vagina, the anal muscles and skin don't lubricate themselves, increasing the risk of tearing or damage.
Don't Stress if Your Dildo Doesn't Insert
Take a deep breath, revisit this page, and test out some of our tips. If it still won't insert, take a break and try again later. You'll soon be enjoying all the pleasures that dildos have to offer!
