I collect random information like magpies collect shiny objects, for the same reasons. Do you want to know how to get promoted in the Royal Navy around 1812? Are you interested in knowing why there are no giant insects? Do you want to know a traditional method for disposing of vampires? You've come to the right place. It doesn't make me smart, and it's rarely useful, but it's incredibly fun. So when I recently discovered someone wrote about their experiences crafting dildos, I was immediately fascinated.
It turns out that making dildos is a straightforward process. First, you make a prototype using clay, and then use silicone to cast a mold from it. Once you have the mold, you cast the dildo itself. However, there are numerous complexities that make the process more interesting. For example, the dildo's base needs to be wide enough to prevent it from becoming stuck in unfavorable places.
But what really caught my attention was something the author mentioned in passing — if making dildos were a full-time job, one could earn over $200,000 a year. At first, this figure seemed absurd, but when I did the math, it quickly became apparent that this was entirely plausible. As you may already know, my job hardly pays well. A sum of $200,000 a year is an utter fortune to me — heck, even $75,000 would be an unbelievable wealth. The idea of making this kind of money from manufacturing sex toys was too appealing to pass up. Even though I have zero artistic skills, I decided to try it for myself.
Mistake #1: Getting into the business for the wrong reasons
Mistake #2: Not knowing my own limitations
During my research, a clear warning stood out: attempting to make dildos on a limited budget is not feasible. Even creating hobbyist-grade dildos requires a significant investment of several hundred dollars, while producing high-quality dildos requires specialized equipment that costs hundreds of dollars more. After crunching the numbers, I concluded that I could only just afford to create a prototype and a single batch of dildos, but only if I cut every corner and made no mistakes.
Mistake #3: Needing a flawless plan to succeed
After purchasing modelling clay, I began crafting dildos. While anatomically correct dildos remain popular, the market for fantasy dildos is currently immense. Aspiring dildo makers have a license to unleash their imagination. I produced an incredibly veiny human dildo, a massive monster dildo dubbed "Goliath," and even a dildo inspired by Star Trek's Worf.
Although I lacked genuine interest in dildos or even penises, this endeavor was surprisingly positive. It was fun, stimulating, and educational. Shockingly, I was good at it, but my initial attempts were mediocre. I typically refuse to re-do my work, even neglecting thorough edits in the article you are reading now. However, when I glared at one of my "finished" models, the thought that I could do better consumed me. I returned to them, improved them, fixed errors, added features, and removed wrinkles, figuratively and literally. By the end, I fabulously created several model dildos.
The next phase was daunting. Producing a prototype was significant. Until this moment, I had spent only $40 on clay. However, the silicone, pigments, and miscellaneous equipment required for the prototype cost me almost $150—decent money for me—causing anxiety. As I proceeded, issues arose promptly.
Mistake #4: Neglecting crucial steps due to lack of comprehension
When producing a prototype, one of the initial steps requires constructing it on a base resembling half a cylinder. Initially, I failed to grasp its importance, and I could not afford ostensibly useless equipment (the author recommended plumbing pipe). However, the base proved critical as it offers a uniform shape to encase with plastic sheets. The resulting container becomes the mold into which silicone is poured.
If lacking such equipment, improvisation becomes imperative. I snipped the upper part of a Coke bottle, inserted my model, and filled it with silicone. Workable, but clay floats on silicone. Instead of waiting for the silicone to set, I spent numerous hours submerging my model with a toothpick, hoping everything would work out. The experience alarmed me; however, after the silicone dried, my error appeared inconsequential, and I pushed forward.
Mistake #5: Avoid panic. A single mistake can lead to further mistakes
So, I had a model and a mold. It was now time to craft my first dildo. I mixed and colored the silicone, and poured it into the mold. If you have previously worked with silicone before, you may be cringing as I made a crucial mistake. Silicone vigorously bonds with silicone, so if your mold is made of silicone, you must apply a release agent before adding the silicone that will convert into your final product; otherwise, your mold will morph into a solid chunk of silicone. In my anxiety and haste, I neglected that vital step. The following morning, I anticipated effortlessly extracting my initial dildo from the mold. Instead, I discovered my mold and prototype were destroyed.
I confronted a stark decision. I could either concede defeat or leap of faith and commence my first batch of dildos. Redesigning a prototype was not viable—buying small silicone quantities is expensive, and unmixed silicone deteriorates rapidly, preventing me from purchasing a large quantity, creating a prototype, having to reproduce another prototype, and then go into production.
Naturally, I'm hesitant and find it hard to handle stress and risk. Every instinct warned me to cut my losses. I have been cautious for a prolonged duration. Thus, I decided it was time to take a chance. I requested several buckets of silicone and commenced my work.
Mistake #6: Balancing Boldness and Prudence
Without a prototype, I couldn't assess the efficacy of my dildo model. Although proceeding without a prototype entailed risks, there were strategies to minimize them. For instance, I could have thoroughly analyzed my model in the light of design constraints that I was aware of, or taken pictures of it and sought expert advice. Instead, I leaped directly into constructing dildos, aiming to be daring, yet my boldness veered into recklessness.
Challenges emerged immediately. Foremost among them was a simple fact - silicone, being a liquid, does not defy gravity. To illustrate, extend your hand as if to deliver a high five - that posture would serve as an easily fashioned model for a silicone toy. Yet, curl your fingers to form a "come hither" gesture, or the letter "C" - making a silicone toy with a similar form was almost insurmountably difficult, even for a hobbyist. Protrusions from the toy's main body, such as the fingers in this example, could not face back towards the base, or wrist.
My budget was limited, so I could only acquire a limited quantity of silicone. I decided to manufacture two types of toys - one based on my own model, complete with veins, and another inspired by Worf. To my regret, the human model sported several protrusions directed a little too much towards the base, generating small depressions instead of smooth lumps. Had I not destroyed my prototype, I would have detected that error early and been able to rectify it.
Mistake #7: Past Errors Can Re-emerge to Torment You
My Worf-inspired toy faced a distinct problem. As I had skipped the crucial step of constructing a proper base, my model wavered away from the vertical alignment that is vital. The greater the curve of the model, the more intricate the mold would be. My design for Worf was particularly curvaceous. The mold that resulted, which also proved colossal, was nearly impossible to extract the toys from - in fact, I had to utilize a crowbar despite having applied sufficient release agent. The action damaged the mold, causing slight rips and tears. If only my model had been more vertically aligned, my Worf toys may have actually been functional.
Altogether, I produced just under 20 dildos, most of which functioned partially. Yet, none were of a quality fit for selling, or even decoration, for creating vibrant patterns from mixed colours has more difficulties than fun. Though techniques are available for blending and shading, it is arduous to prevent silicone colours from merging entirely. My creations may catch one's eye but they can hardly pass as art.
Thus, my verdict is in. This endeavor proved disproportionately expensive, costing me more than I can reasonably afford. While I certainly developed a few skills that I may never use again, and drew some satisfaction from the experience, I now possess a Rubbermaid bin of sex toys that I keep in the space between my computer and my liquor cabinet. Though the creation of dildos can be enjoyable and even lucrative, it is also a costly enterprise. Were I to start afresh, doing this properly would set me back a couple of thousand dollars. Instead of pursuing that winding path, if given that amount of money, I would employ it to re-enroll in graduate school and complete my MA.
Dildonomics 101
If you plan to make a single dildo, whether for yourself or others, do not do so. The cost of producing one is at least $150, granted that you execute all procedures perfectly. However, if you aspire to create dildos as a hobby, a second source of income, or merely have a fascination with the financial aspect of dildos, here is the financial breakdown. Note that the following estimates are applicable for small to medium batch production, and thus subject to variances.
Each dildo demands between $12 and $30 worth of silicone. The actual cost of production is about $1 to $10 higher per unit, due to pigment, gloves, plastic wrap, diverse other expenses, and the amortized cost of your model, mold, prototype, and equipment.
An artisanal dildo made by hand can be sold for anywhere in the range of $25 to $90. The price depends on its size, complexity, quality, and the creator's reputation. Of note, the average profit margin is about $25 per dildo.
If you possess exceptional efficiency, you can craft up to 10 dildos hourly. Realistically, producing three to five dildos per hour appears more practical, as complex designs entail more time. As silicone takes a few hours to solidify, each mold may only be utilized thrice daily at most.
If you dedicate two hours every day to manufacture dildos, you should be able to create eight in total. With a profit of $25 per dildo, you make $200 in two hours, on paper. However, here are a few factors to consider. Unless you have multiple molds available, you cannot craft eight dildos inside of a two-hour block, and will need to spread the work throughout your day. If your purpose involves profit, then anticipate allocating ample time for website maintenance, communicating with customers, and shipping your products. Furthermore, keeping the working space clean and prepped for use is a basic yet time-consuming labor - this hobby is quite messy. My rough estimates suggest that for every hour spent manufacturing dildos, an additional hour is required for logistical and maintenance needs. Hence, your anticipated $100 hourly profit decreases to $50/hour. Nevertheless, this remains a decent income source for an enjoyable activity.
Making eight dildos a day would yield profit only if one can manage to fetch eight customers each day. Conducting market research is a challenge, especially if one is broke. According to a dildo-making expert, the initial months in the field can be sluggish, but business could take off rapidly, leading to more customers than one can handle. Thus, there will be a need to choose customers selectively. Anecdotal evidence suggests that other dildo-smiths are also running a busy enterprise, to the extent that customers have to pre-order their products months in advance.
It appears that the demand for commercial-grade dildos is way ahead of the supply, but it is essential to bear in mind that the makers are the cream of the crop in their field, and purchasing dildos from them means acquiring the work of art. Therefore, anyone anticipating eight daily customers or even yearly in the first 12 months may be poised to experience disappointment. To avoid wastage of unmixed silicone, at least five to ten dildos should sell every week. If one can achieve this milestone within six initial months, it is a sign of good progress and yields a tidy profit.
However, there are specific challenges to overcome. Offering a range of dildos necessitates acquiring various molds and models, which may be costly. Besides, featuring both soft and hard dildos or those with firm cores and soft housing implies buying many types of silicone outright and hoping that there is a demand for them. Making commercially viable dildos requires one to acquire a vacuum chamber and pump, costing several hundred dollars. If not willing to make such a massive investment, making only a limited range of dildos may decelerate the enterprise's growth rate.
Can money be made in the dildo business? Absolutely. However, to get started, one must have a considerable amount of money. As I painfully learned, a dildo business cannot be initiated on a shoestring budget. Patience and methodology are also essential qualities. Additionally, some artistic skills could come in handy.
